For those who understand that it’s time to quit smoking, but look for a valid excuse not to, we are here to help, bringing you some creative excuses to keep smoking.
1. You'd have too much money otherwise, and you will have a headache on how to spend it.
2. You can save on aftershave or perfume as no one will smell it over the all-pervasive odor of smoke.
3. You have no sense of taste or smell so you have no need to eat gourmet food.
4. And what's more you look your best in dimly lit, smoke-filled rooms.
5. Your constant coughing helps friends and loved ones find you easily in a crowd.
6. If you get lost in the wilderness you won't have to rub sticks together to start a fire because you'll be sure to have your lighter with you.
7. You'll never have trouble deciding what items to get duty free.
8. You keep people in the ashtray industry employed.
9. If you quit you will have to sit with the dorks during lunch.
10. The small holes in your clothes hearken back to the trendy "shotgun wash" days of the eighties. And may give you a needed excuse to shop.
11. Asking people for a "light" is a good way to pick up members of the opposite sex and you don't have to worry about your mouth smelling foul because they're smokers too.
12. You've spent all the money you would have spent on your retirement plan on cigarettes so it's probably just as well you’re not going to live as long as everyone else.
13. Lots of film stars smoke in movies so, therefore, by smoking you are naturally increasing your chances of becoming a film star.
14. Your dog wouldn't recognize you by smell anymore.
15. You smoke to help digest dinner and if you didn't smoke, you would keep eating until you EXPLODE!!
16. If you quit smoking, your glasses and computer screen would not be hazy and the glare would really damage your eyes.
17. Because if you didn't smoke you'd be tempted to go back to picking your nose, which was what you used to do to occupy your hands.
18. Your ex-spouse wanted you to quit and you won't give him/her the satisfaction.
19. Those extra wrinkles give you that "mature" look.
20. The smell on your coat makes it easy to pick it out of a pile at a party.
21. If not for the smoking you'd be perfect, and nobody likes a perfect person.
22. If your sense of smell came back you'd have to do something about that litter box.
23. You wouldn't get any exercise at all if you didn't run outside the building every hour for a cigarette.
24. That rattle when you breathe reassures you that you're still alive.
25. Now that tattoos, body piercing, hard rock, punk fashion and Harley's have all become mainstream, smoking is the only way to get people to notice that I am rebelling.
26. You haven't really planned for your retirement so the only way to provide for the family is with a huge tobacco settlement.
27. Worried about the future for your children and grandchildren? Think how you're easing their financial burden by smoking: they won't have to support you so long in your dotage.
28. If you quit smoking you can't count on your mother-in-law dying from second hand smoke.
30. Quitters never win, winners never quit.